Wednesday, May 24, 2017 at 14:17
I think your getting the idea. This is nature, we all do it, just spare me the most personal details.
Keep plastic out of the bush. Just think of the millions of animals all over Oz, including the birds, that just do it . . . right there, where ever. Except for we humans and cats who like a little privacy, we do like to find our "spot".
Our only extra in the process is the paper. Also we (and cats) do not like to step in anyone else's doings. So . . .
a) You will find your plot of privacy with shovel and paper in hand. The middle of a track is not acceptable.
b) Make sure there are no "joe blakes" behind your tree or shed. Making noise helps.
c) If you are a bit weak in the thighs you might have to also find a straining tree. If the ground is hard and rocky and a hole can't be dug, you might also investigate what earth, stones or branches are around to use as a cover.
d) The straining tree is something you can hold with one hand, in front of you and must be of sound stature. You don't want a tree that may break away at an inappropriate time.
e) Make sure the paper is within reach.
f) Make sure no one is looking and partially disrobe as required.
g) Try not to laugh
h) Enjoy the scenery
i) Stack used paper to one side. If wind (weather) is blowing secure with a
rock.
j) Ignore the flies that gather (where do they come from) and try not to think of the exposed sandwiches and cake back at the vehicle.
k) Stand up and walk forward readjusting clothing.
l) Use the shovel to cover your doings, not your foot.
m) If terrain is dry, leafy, scrub 'n grass, any chance of igniting, DO NOT burn paper. Either put a big
rock(s) over it OR take it back to safe place or bag it in vehicle.
n) Pick up paper with a clean piece. Tuck roll under your arm. Don't forget the shovel.
o) And back to the first step, as you walk away from the vehicle, remember where it is. In the emergency of the moment its easy to forget where the 4x is parked.
p) Don't forget to tell everyone "Ahhh! That's better"
FollowupID:
881405