funnies

Submitted: Saturday, Dec 31, 2005 at 07:39
ThreadID: 29261 Views:2030 Replies:6 FollowUps:14
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as a avid reader on this website for the last 6 months i have been able to lok forward friday for funnies, got up early this morning( same every day ) search of posts no funnies . is every one on holidays?lol.very dissapointng , eh well just have too read other informative posts! Happy New Year every one & keep the information coming.
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Reply By: Member - JohnR (Vic)&Moses - Saturday, Dec 31, 2005 at 08:36

Saturday, Dec 31, 2005 at 08:36
Hey come on roofscooter, the thing about this site is a lot of content is provided by us. How about you contributing to them too?

anyway here goes............

Inside the cage, hang a banana
on a string and place a set of stairs under it.. Before long, a monkey
will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the banana. As soon as he
touches the stairs, all of the other monkeys are sprayed with cold water.
After a while, another monkey makes an attempt with the same result, all
the other monkeys are sprayed with cold water. Pretty soon, when another
monkey tries to climb the stairs, the other monkeys will try to prevent it.

Now, put away the cold water. Remove one monkey from the cage and replace
it with a new one. The new monkey sees the banana and wants to climb the
stairs. To his surprise and horror, all of the other monkeys attack him.

After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the
stairs, he will be assaulted.

Next, remove another of the original five monkeys and replace it with a new
one. The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked. The previous
newcomer takes part in the punishment with enthusiasm! Likewise, replace a
third original monkey with a new one, then a fourth, then the fifth. Every
time the newest monkey takes to the stairs, he is attacked.

Most of the monkeys that are beating him have no idea why they were not
permitted to climb the stairs or why they are participating in the beating
of the newest monkey.

After replacing all the original monkeys, none of the remaining monkeys
have ever been sprayed with cold water. Nevertheless, no monkey ever again
approaches the stairs to try for the banana. Why not? Because as far as
they know that's the way it's always been done around here.

... and that, my friends, is how a policy development begins. Tax Law included.
AnswerID: 146067

Follow Up By: GOB & denny vic member - Saturday, Dec 31, 2005 at 08:59

Saturday, Dec 31, 2005 at 08:59
good morning john
happy new year to you and heather and all the other forumites

your not by chance doing a BAS statement are you

steve
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Follow Up By: Member - JohnR (Vic)&Moses - Saturday, Dec 31, 2005 at 11:03

Saturday, Dec 31, 2005 at 11:03
Steve, happy New Year to you and Denny too with all our forumite friends..

BAS statement, I think I know what they are Steve, but know a bit more on policy development. LOL Heather knows about BAS statements.
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Follow Up By: ev700 - Saturday, Dec 31, 2005 at 15:00

Saturday, Dec 31, 2005 at 15:00
John

Having done contract work for a federal department in Canberra your story makes a lot of sense.

Applies especially to the way they treat staff.

Insofar as policy development goes, I have reason to believe that the senior managers keep old rejected policies in their bottom _Affordable_Storage_Drawers.aspx and recycle them whenever a new Minister arrives on the scene.
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Reply By: obone - Saturday, Dec 31, 2005 at 09:11

Saturday, Dec 31, 2005 at 09:11
Heard this one from a 7 year old, it cracks me up !
Why do canibals refuse to eat clowns ?....... 'Cause they taste funny !
Happy Newyear
Obone
AnswerID: 146070

Follow Up By: roofscooter2 - Saturday, Dec 31, 2005 at 09:56

Saturday, Dec 31, 2005 at 09:56
i have not contributed to the siteas i have had problems logging on.(now seems to be fixed long last ) thanks to david.i am new to to all this camping thing & know not too much, but slowly learning.bob.
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Follow Up By: geocacher (djcache) - Saturday, Dec 31, 2005 at 15:03

Saturday, Dec 31, 2005 at 15:03
Let me guess you are using Zone Alarm for a firewall...

Dave
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Follow Up By: Member - MrBitchi (QLD) - Sunday, Jan 01, 2006 at 12:57

Sunday, Jan 01, 2006 at 12:57
"Zone Alarm for a firewall"

Best in the business......
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Follow Up By: geocacher (djcache) - Sunday, Jan 01, 2006 at 14:47

Sunday, Jan 01, 2006 at 14:47
Maybe so but it doesn't like this site if you have it set to block "third party cookies"

If your browser won't let you log in try that particular tick box.

I've spoken to David about it and he can't fathom it. The only cookies on this site come from this site.

Gremlins,

Dave
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FollowupID: 399749

Reply By: Footloose - Saturday, Dec 31, 2005 at 12:00

Saturday, Dec 31, 2005 at 12:00
A Texas Tech graduate, a University of Texas grad and a Texas Aggie were sitting in a bar in San Antonio . The view of the river was fantastic, the beer was ice cold and the food exceptional. "But," said the guy from Tech, "I still prefer the beer joints back in Lubbock . There's one place where the owner goes out of his way for the locals. When you buy 4 beers, he will buy the 5th."

The Longhorn said "Well, at my local bar in Austin , the owner will buy your 3rd drink after you've bought 2."

"Hell, that's nothin'," the Aggie responded. "Back in College Station there's this bar where the moment you set foot in the place they'll buy you a drink and keep them coming all night. Then when you've had enough to drink, they take you upstairs and see that you get laid. And it's all on the house."

The Red Raider and the Longhorn immediately doubted the Aggie's claims. "And this actually happened to you?" asked the Tech grad.

"No, not myself personally," admitted the Aggie. "But it did happen to my sister!"

AnswerID: 146083

Follow Up By: Willem - Saturday, Dec 31, 2005 at 14:48

Saturday, Dec 31, 2005 at 14:48
Hahahaha Jim....thats really funny.....you definitely tickled my funnybone

Happy New Year

Regards
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Reply By: Footloose - Saturday, Dec 31, 2005 at 15:03

Saturday, Dec 31, 2005 at 15:03
Happy New Year all. I thought you were in the 'Gong, Willem ?
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Reply By: Bonz (Vic) - Saturday, Dec 31, 2005 at 15:03

Saturday, Dec 31, 2005 at 15:03
Australian Capital Territory Birth Control

After their 11th child, an Canberran couple decided that was enough, as
they could not afford a larger bed. So the husband went to his local
veterinarian and told him that he and his cousin didn't want to have
anymore children.
The vet told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that
could fix the problem but that it was expensive. "A less costly
alternative,"said the vet, "is to go home, get a cherry bomb, (fireworks are legal in
ACT) light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to your ear and
count to 10."
The Canberran said to the vet, "I may not be the sharpest tool in the
shed, but I don't see how putting a cherry bomb in a beer can next to my
ear is going to help me."
"Trust me," said the veterinarian.
So the man went home, lit a cherry bomb and put it in a beer can. He
held the can up to his ear and began to count...
"1"
"2"
"3"
"4"
"5"
At which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs and
resumed counting on his other hand.
This procedure also works in Congupna, Moyston, Elizabeth, Redefrn,
Coonabarabran, and parts of Tasmania.
.
Time is an illusion produced by the passage of history
.

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AnswerID: 146096

Follow Up By: Member - JohnR (Vic)&Moses - Saturday, Dec 31, 2005 at 16:49

Saturday, Dec 31, 2005 at 16:49
your a tough bugga Bonz.
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Follow Up By: Des Lexic - Saturday, Dec 31, 2005 at 17:23

Saturday, Dec 31, 2005 at 17:23
It wouldn't happen in Terang, Timboon or Berri.
Damn hot here today. At least 45 with strong northerly blowing. Too hot to go outside and read the thermometer properly. Have a Happy New Year guys and gals and best wishes for the new year.
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FollowupID: 399692

Follow Up By: Bonz (Vic) - Saturday, Dec 31, 2005 at 17:42

Saturday, Dec 31, 2005 at 17:42
Its a gift John

46 here in the shed today Des

I need a drink
.
Time is an illusion produced by the passage of history
.

Lifetime Member
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Follow Up By: Member - JohnR (Vic)&Moses - Saturday, Dec 31, 2005 at 21:43

Saturday, Dec 31, 2005 at 21:43
Bonz you aren't point scoring are you? I am not far South of you and it only got to about 35' here. I still need a drink and got a good sparkler in the fridge......

Will drink a toast to you fellows and fellowesses shortly. Happy New Year, please pass to the girls. You better teach Mrs Lexic to type here Mr Des. I guess she may read your posts though. Good luck all.
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FollowupID: 399707

Follow Up By: Bonz (Vic) - Sunday, Jan 01, 2006 at 01:18

Sunday, Jan 01, 2006 at 01:18
Nah John twas 36 here today, but under the tim roof the mercury got to 46, and thats warm, might have to open the doors
.
Time is an illusion produced by the passage of history
.

Lifetime Member
My Profile  My Blog  My Position  Send Message
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Follow Up By: Brian - Sunday, Jan 01, 2006 at 17:44

Sunday, Jan 01, 2006 at 17:44
Hey Bonz didn't you know that Victorian are living proof that Tasmanians can swim ??!!
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Reply By: roofscooter2 - Saturday, Dec 31, 2005 at 16:11

Saturday, Dec 31, 2005 at 16:11
your dead right dave. i see below that willem is up an about in his new, shiny red datsncogs ha.ha.ha.ha.
AnswerID: 146105

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